But I disagree. I disagree because you can't love a person one second and hate them the next. It's something much more agonizing and complicated then hate. I think it's indifference. It's when you can't agree on anything anymore and you don't care to sympathize anymore and you wanna watch this movie but they end up choosing a movie you absolutely deteste. I think it's indifference because you lose importance to that person.
And you fight a lot and I'm tired of fighting and it's all so dry and heavy like filling your mouth with crackers when you haven't had even a sip of something liquid in days. It's when the moon is stamped on the backs of your eyelids because you're so used to going to bed at the same time and not being able to dream while knowing they're still awake. But them staying awake regardless of your headache, regardless of the begging. And I'm so sorry. I'm sorry because I know I'm a fucking failure because relationships are hard and I'm so little. And I romantisize you more than i do anything else and I just want to be important again, I just want it to be like the beginning again because now I'm a fraud of my own words and feelings so I'll talk less now. I'll put away my expectations. And I'll sow my soul shut. Nothing will come out anymore.
Srjr
3:41 p.m.
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